A Conversation with My 5-Year-Old

MY SON: Is the house plugged, daddy?

ME: Huh?

MY SON: Can we play with the train? Is the house plugged?

ME: We can play with the train. What do you mean, “Is the house plugged?”

MY SON: The wires. Remember the towers?

ME: What wires? What towers?

MY SON: Dad, come on.

ME: Come on what, son? What wires? What towers? What are you talking about?

MY SON: I’m talking about the trains. Can we play with the trains?

ME: I said yes. We can play with the trains.

MY SON: Is the house plugged?

ME: Plugged?

MY SON: The towers.

ME: I’m gonna set up the train and turn them on.

MY SON: But, daddy, do you have batteries?

ME: The train doesn’t take batteries, son. It’s electric.

MY SON: That’s what I’m talking about, Dad.

ME: What are you talking about?

MY SON: Powder?

ME: What powder? Powder for what?

MY SON: For the tracks. Do we need it for the tracks?

ME: What for the tracks?

MY SON: Powder for the tracks.

ME: When have we ever put powder on the tracks?

MY SON: No, for the tracks.

ME: That’s what I said.

MY SON: What are you talking about, Dad?

ME: What are you talking about, son?

MY SON: What do you mean?

ME: What do I mean? What do you mean? What are you talking about with the house being plugged, towers and powder on train tracks? I don’t get what you mean.

MY SON: You’re mean.

ME: Huh?

MY SON: You’re mean, Dad.

ME: I’m mean? What do you mean I’m mean? Why am I mean? You know what, you’re mean. You’re rude. You don’t tell Daddy he’s mean. Go take a time out.

MY SON: Is the house plugged? Or is it still have to be plugged?

ME: Huh?

MY SON: It’s dark. How can I see in my room? Is the house plugged? Are they plugged into the towers?

ME: Are you talking about the electrical lines outside near the Christmas tree lot?

MY SON: Huh?

ME: The electrical lines. I’m talking about the electrical lines near the Christmas tree lot. Is that what you’re talking about?

MY SON: What are you talking about, Dad? It’s Christmas?

ME: No, it’s not Christmas. I’m not talking about Christmas. I’m talking about . . .

MY SON: What are you talking about, Dad?

ME: The electrical lines. I’m talking about the power lines. Remember we used to drive by the power lines on the way to your pre-school? Right near the Christmas tree lot?

MY SON: We’re going to the Christmas tree lot?

ME: No. Forget the Christmas tree lot. I’m talking about the electrical lines -- the power lines on those towers near the Christmas tree lot. Remember when you were little I used to tell you that the wires on those towers were the plugs for our house that give our light sockets the power to turn on the train?

MY SON: That’s what I’m talking about, Dad.

-November 2008