Monday, February 8, 2010
I Can't Make Decisions
WIFE: So whaddaya want for dinner?
WIFE: You wanna go out?
ME: Yeah. Sure.
WIFE: You decide. Where do you want to go?
ME: Ooooh, let’s go to Maria’s Italian Deli. They’ve got that really good manicotti. And cannoli. That sounds good.
WIFE: But we just had Italian food two nights ago. Where else would you want to go?
ME: Let’s go to Dave’s, then.
WIFE: That’s too fattening. What about Salt Creek Grille?
ME: That’s too expensive. What about BJ’s?
WIFE: We always go to BJ’s.
ME: Well, where do you wanna go then?
WIFE: It’s your decision.
ME: OK then. Everyone in the car. We’re going to Maria’s.
WIFE: I thought you didn’t wanna go to Maria’s.
ME: No, you didn’t wanna go to Maria’s.
WIFE: Can we go somewhere else? Anywhere but Italian food.
ME: OK, how about the Route 66 Grill?
WIFE: Isn’t that kinda like Dave’s?
ME: I guess it’s somewhat like Dave’s.
WIFE: How about Margarita’s?
ME: Is that where you wanna go?
WIFE: It’s your decision. Do you wanna go there?
ME: No, but if you wanna go there, then let’s go.
WIFE: No -- just pick where you wanna go.
ME: I did pick where I wanna go. You didn’t like it. And you didn’t like my second and third choices either. So you tell me where you wanna go.
WIFE: Are you mad at me?
ME: No, I’m just hungry, so choose where you wanna go, and let’s go.
WIFE: I’m sorry -- go ahead, you choose where you wanna go.
ME: OK, Maria’s.
WIFE: Maybe we should just eat at home.
WIFE: What do you wanna have?
WIFE: But we just had Italian food two nights ago.
ME: How about meat loaf?
WIFE: Kinda fattening, don’t you think?
WIFE: Anything healthier?
ME: Pork chops?
ME: Chicken? Fish? Tacos—
WIFE: Which one do you want?
I went into the kitchen, got the cereal, the milk, bowls and spoons, and I put it on the table. I sat down, poured the cereal into a bowl, poured the milk, and I started eating. My wife and our son joined me.
WIFE: This was a good idea, sweetie. So whaddaya want for Christmas?
ME: I’ll shop for myself.